Run and not grow weary

Isaiah 40:31 - But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

As I think about how close my husband and I are to reaching the end of our child-rearing season, I realize more than ever the need to keep Galatians 6:9 in the forefront of my mind, which tells us to not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.   Giving up would be the easiest thing to do.  Sometimes I’m tired.  I’ve spent my entire adult life raising children, and while those seem like simple words to say, it was never easy. I have carried and delivered six sweet, helpless babies; I’ve nursed them, fed them, changed poopy diapers, cared for each of them when they were hurt or sick or scared. I’ve tried to protect them. I’ve tried to teach them about God and life and math.  I’ve laughed with them, cried with them, hurt with them, and hurt for them.  I have probably had some form of heartache every single day.  I’ve cried so many tears of joy, and of sorrow.  And it never ends.  Believe me, it never ends, no matter how old you get.  It never ends, it just changes. But a mom never stops loving her kids, or worrying about them.  Are they eating right?  Are they getting enough sunshine?  Are they hanging out with the right people?  Are their friends leading them on the good path, or leading them astray?  Are they dating the right person?  Will they be happy?  More importantly, will they walk with God, will they live a life that’s pleasing to Him?  Will they teach their children to love Him? 

For a mom who cares about her children, letting go of a young adult child is not easy.  We often worry about the consequences of their decisions.  It’s so hard to stand back and watch your children make choices that could hurt them, or watch them head down paths that might lead them away from God’s truth.  Will they make good choices?  Will they fall?  It’s a process of learning to trust God to take care of our children, which will include sometimes letting them crash. 

I wish there were a magic button to push when it’s time to launch adult children.  But there is not. I truly believe it’s a process, and an important one to work through together.  Some things in life might be difficult, but necessary. It’s not something we need to be rescued from. It’s just something we have to go through, and hopefully we get through it with mutual understanding and love. 

I know I have made mistakes.  And, I know I will continue to make mistakes. None of us are perfect. But as we work through this process together, each of my children working on their independence, growth and maturity, and me working on trusting God and letting go, hopefully it can end up being a great relationship.  Who knows, it could even be a friendship.  But if not, it’s ok, because my goal all along has been to raise Godly, responsible, loving, humble, respectable adults, preparing them to go out into the world and live their own lives.  Being friends would be a wonderful bonus, but I know it’s not a given.  To be honest, I would love for my children to be proud of me and look up to me – but that is just vanity. It’s more important that they love the Lord with all their hearts, and want to live their life for Him.  It’s important to me that I know that I at least tried.  I don’t want to give up.

I know all I can do is try to do the best I can for my kids while I still have them near, and do a lot of praying.  Even when they’re out on their own, I could still be a part of their lives. But, if not, I know the one thing I can do, the most important thing, is to keep praying for them. And that is what I’ll do.  

As long as I’m alive, I’ll continue praying for each one of them.  Not that they would have an easy life, but that they’d want to live a life that is honoring to God.  Not that they’d never have pain, but that when they do, they’ll be able to turn to Him to help them through it.  Not that their heart would never be broken, but that their heart will be open to what He wants for them.