... in late 1985
Countdown
Two
minutes left… on the edge of my seat.
I
feel defeated, but I’m trying to have
just
a little hope, just an ounce of faith.
Why
do I have to go through this again?
How
many times will I fall for this joke…
giving
me just enough foolish hope
to
die of heartbreak when my dreams
are
dashed again on the rocks of fate.
Here
I am again… how much more can I take?
One
minute left… then I’ll have a good cry,
like
so many other times before,
and
I’ll pick myself up, and go on with life…
Life
of seeing all those others
holding
their little precious bundles
while
my arms remain so sadly empty.
Life
of watching sweet young mothers
bouncing
their little ones on their knee.
I
guess this desire of my heart
isn’t
His desire for me
It’s
time... I say a simple prayer.
“God……
please! Don’t you even care?”
I
can barely open up my eyes,
expecting
to see the results I fear.
Wait! Is this real? Yes, it’s clear…!
The
faint blue PLUS sign on the white stick!
Feeling
like my heart could burst…
Tears
come flooding down my cheeks,
not
from emptiness this time.
Today
I feel my joy’s complete
I
sit alone, half laughing, half sobbing…
I
can’t believe it… I’m a mommy!
© 3/9/2013
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